Should Sex be the Main Reason for a Pre-marital Relationship?

Just recently, I listened to a radio show which prompted this article. The question asked was that; is it possible to have a relationship without sex and still sustain the relationship? Interestingly enough, there were four invited guests, two of which were sexually active, and the other two, not active. As the show began, one of the guests (male) was of the opinion that it was impossible to have such a relationship without having sex claiming that “body no be fire wood” and that the relationship exist between two people who have feelings for each other and would definitely want to proof it by engaging in sex. The question is, is sex the only way to proof your love for someone in a relationship? What ingredients define a relationship? Another female guest who is sexually inactive was of the opinion that sex is not the determinant of a relationship and that whatever goes on in a relationship should be agreed by the two parties involved as to what activities they should engage themselves and what they should not be found doing. She went on to say that everyone has a motive and plan for whoever they get involved with. Some people are against sex in a relationship for personal, religious and moral beliefs which is okay in a relationship as far as they are concerned. If two people are in a relationship and they have both agreed to have sex bearing the consequences in mind, why not? For crying out loud, we are talking about two adults who are responsible enough to take care of themselves. Sometimes, you never know when the urge for sex comes because you start indulging each other from hugging, kissing, until you get entangled. You just get into the mood and by the time you want to resist it, you are already enjoying it. For some reasons, some people just want to satisfy the urge for sex or they just can’t resist some cute looking guy who might be considered good in bed, said another guest. Along the line, one of the guests argued that you cannot be in a relationship and not have sex because men are moved by what they see and desire sex most times, uncontrollably. If a guy doesn’t get sex from his girlfriend, he goes out to another girl who is willing and ready to give it to him in no time. Besides, No one enjoys eating the same food all the time. There are many issues to discuss and argue about but as to whether the use of condom should be considered became another issues entirely but let us stick to the main issue here. I really would not want to go deep into the matter because am sure a lot of people would have their own views on whether sex is important in a pre-marital relationship or not. The chat room has been declared opened! Comments, opinions and disagreements are welcome and please note that if you are arguing from the religious point of view, be sure to get your point right and clear. Thank you.

My Easter Message

Today, Christ is risen from the grave and has won the battle over death. Alleluyaaaaaa!!!!!!. When he was hung on the cross, he said “it is finish!” That is, it is finished for every pain, sorrow, failure, limitation, lack, loneliness and all the things that are not of God. God has risen again to bring back life, goodness, mercy, grace, favour, prosperity, good health and all the good things that we desire. Therefore, I urge every one of us, that as we celebrate the reason for the season, let us do a check on our spiritual lives and desire a Christ-like life so that the death of Jesus Christ would not be in vain. Eat as much as you can, drink as much as you can but not to stupor, laugh as much as you can, dance as much as you can but remember that you’ve got only one more day to have all the fun because reality is just around the corner, you are returning back to those papers on your desk, and facing the traffic jam again in less than 36hours! *wink*wink* Happy Easter to Y’all!

......... and here comes BOMBOY!

Bomboy is the thought of an architect who travelled from Capetown in South Africa to be read in Patabah, a bookstore situated at Adeniran Ogunsanya Mall, Surulere, Lagos- Nigeria. The character Leke, a young troubled man living in Capetown, goes about stalking people , stealing from them and ends up at the doctors for companionship rather than a cure. He later finds out about a family curse which his unknown father tries to remove but failed. Unfortunately, Leke never met his father but got series of letters from him. What is this family curse? Who is Leke’s father? How does he get in-contact with his father? And what is the cure to this curse? To get answers to these questions, you’ve got to grab a copy of Bomboy! Yewande Omotosho is an architect and freelancer based in capetown, South-Africa. Bomboy is her debut novel and was shortlisted for the 2012 Sunday Times fiction Award.

Nigerian Ambassador to Ghana paid a courtesy visit to Nigerian Students and Lecturers at the University of Capecoast, UCC.

The Nigerian Ambassador to Ghana, Amb. Seyi Onafowokan together with his wife,paid a courtesy visit to the Nigerian Students at the University of Capecoast as part of his committment to ensure a good relationship between Nigerians and the Ghanaian community. The very amiable ambassador who had an interactive session with all the Nigerian Students and lecturers of UCC, assured his fellow compatriots that his office is open to all to ensure Nigerians have a peaceful stay in Ghana and a better living condition. He also stressed the need for every student to be an ambassador of Nigeria as their actions will portray the image of their country.

Challenges of Democracy in Ghana

“At long last, the battle has ended and Ghana, our beloved country, is free for ever.” This was the famous statement by Dr. Kwame Nkrumah, the first president and architect of Ghana’s independence on March 6, 1957 as he declared the nation’s self-governance. Politically, the country has a chequered history. After going through political turmoil of five (5) military coup d’état, it is gratifying that since 1992, Ghana has been chalking tremendous successes by going through four (4) successful democratic elections. This successful transition might have been more beneficial to the people occupying the seats of power and majority of Ghanaians due to the pains of military regimes but unknown to them, every form of government comes with its good, bad and ugly. Democracy has been defined by many scholars in different ways but in simple term, it is a system of government that allow people’s participation in government from the lower to the highest level irrespective of their class, socio-economic background and educational status as long as they are citizens and have attained the age eighteen (18). This means that power resides in the hands of the people to impeach a non-performing government and to elect whoever they want to represent and rule them. thus, some features of democracy include; free and fair election, accountability and transparency, universal adult suffrage, rule of law, principle of separation of power, checks and balances and freedom of expression to mention but a few. Although, since 1992, some of these features might have been enjoyed one way or the other but the challenges of democracy seemed more than it benefits to Ghana and Ghanaians at large. It is in this regard that this essay will take a look at three major challenges of democracy in Ghana using news reports from “the Ghanaian Times” in the month of March, 2012. Some of these challenges include; manipulation during election and compilation of election results, mismanagement of funds and corruption, Lack of direction and focus. With the state of democracy in Ghana, one would ask, are elections truly free and fair? Were the votes of Ghanaians considered very important in the election process? Wasn’t there some form of manipulations somewhere to get power at all cost? And did majority of eligible Ghanaians actually participate in the election process? These and many other questions are left hanging and unanswered. The selection of candidate most times is based on how much money the candidate has to bribe and manipulate his way to getting in the seat of power. Political parties engaged the services of underage electorates to get more votes, electoral commission officers are bribed and used to manipulate the results of election and some political parties’ boost of getting all the votes even before the results are announced. All these, raise questions as to whether a candidate actually came into power through a free and fair election or otherwise. In “The Ghanaian Times” of Tuesday march 6, 2012, (pg. 10), the National Democratic Congress (NDC) claimed that they have won all the votes of the people of Zongo without waiting for the conduct of the election and the announcement of results. One would ask again, what gives this party the assurance that they would have all the votes of these people if they have not done some underground moves? Many political parties spend large sum of money on campaigns and advertisement declaring that they would do this and that in their manifestos just to win people's votes and after getting into the seats of power, they tend to regain and fill their personal pockets first, for all the money they had spent on campaign before they came into power. The welfare of the masses and majority of Ghanaians who voted these leaders into power now turn out to be the least on their agenda. The Government in power no longer gives account of how public funds is spent, when they manage to complete a project that their predecessors in power had been working on but unable to complete due to mismanagement of funds, they put up adverts all over the media claiming they have completed the project. Meanwhile, the amount of money spent in completing the project might not be anything close to the amount that will be declared spent. Some years down the lane, the same project will be calling for the attention of the government in power for repair and reconstruction. Funds are diverted to promote the needs of the political party in power and its members rather than the development of infrastructures, basic social amenities, people’s development and community growth. Citizens pay tax which in essence is meant for the development of their basic amenities but at the end, goes into the pocket of the people in power and no one is accountable for it. On the 9th of March, 2012, it was reported that Government made the sum of GHC 8.7bn on taxes and is still targeting an 18% increase. What has been done so far with this tax payer’s money in previous years and presently as we speak? When people in government are charged for looting and mismanagement of public fund, what is done to them and what happens to the money in situations where it was recovered? Leadership is about service to humanity but our present day politicians see leadership as service to their pockets. In Ghana today, because of the freedom of expression granted by democracy, politicians have seen the game of politics as an avenue to insult each other, personalities and parties rather than focus on the real issues (governance, the masses, community and economic growth, development, peace and stability, education and provision of basic amenities such as good roads, hospital, electricity, clean water etc.). Once a party is defeated, rather than divert their grievances through the appropriate quarters, they insult the parties and personalities. Even during campaigns, party members and contestant exchange abusive words and derogatory statements. What has insult got to do with politics? Any astute politician will appreciate constructive criticism; there is no need to heap insult. Government expects that they be commended for carrying out their basic responsibility to citizens who have voted them into power. In the Ghanaian times of Tuesday March 6, 2012, there was a report title “Government deserves commendation for development initiatives”. Why should the government be commended for carrying out a duty it owes the people who have the mandate to decide his fate in government? Another report in “The Ghanaian Times” of March 7, 2012 (pg.12) titled “NPP has no message” talks about the NDC addressing its party supporters and telling them that the NPP cannot achieve its manifesto and is not qualified to rule Ghanaians. What then makes the NDC qualified if it is condemning another party? Still in The Ghanaian Times of March 2nd, 2012, story titled “Drama in Parliament”, A member of parliament was accused of improper dressing when he stood up to raise a concern about the threats of Youth Unemployment to the country’s democracy, rather than address the major issue, another parliament member drew the attention of the speaker to his dressing. This lead to the drama in the parliament. When and where do we place our priorities? However, various issues of democracy are raised daily in the media and democracy has been viewed as strictly a game of politics and insult and the people who are governed seem to be out of the picture. Politicians take advantage of freedom of expression to abuse and insult political parties and personalities rather than the positions occupied, politicians deal with trivial issues rather than pressing ones. Democracy is limited to election when there are many other aspects of democracy that needs to be touched (March 9th, 2012, pg.12). Ghanaians are asking for credible voters registration (March 24th, 012, pg. 9), politicians are urged not to engage children in their politics of insults (March 2nd, 2012, pg. 22). Young people need good and quality leaders who will serve as role models and the nation needs credible, accountable leaders with integrity to move Ghana forward so the people can enjoy the real and true benefits of democracy. Tenny Endutimepre Tunkarimu